When people are going through difficult or challenging circumstances, they need comfort from others. That comfort helps them deal with the overwhelming emotions that bombard them. People in these circumstances naturally turn to HSPs for solace. They may not be able to explain exactly what they need. But when they come to you, it is one (or any combination) of three reactions they are seeking.
One: To be Helped
When a person finds themself in a challenging situation, it may be so overwhelming that they are unable to deal with it on their own. This is most common with children. This person will be in need of help to sort out the action that they need to take. And possibly, support in carrying it out.
Two: To be Heard
More often, with adults, they just simply need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Allowing someone to express the thoughts that are populating their mind is a great service. Listening without judgment, people feel like they are validated. That their feelings are important, as it should be.
Three: To be Hugged
Just as important to being able to speak openly about a difficulty or challenge, is receiving a hug from someone. A hug is a physical manifestation of empathy. I care for you and what you are going through. I hurt along with you. The hug is a nonverbal gesture that often speaks more clearly than an entire dictionary of words.
Our responses are vital to providing the relief they are seeking. I believe there is one key element that helps us provide that much needed consolation. And in the most effective way possible. This element is humility. We must approach each request for help with the humbleness of a saint. After all, this person has reached out to us in a time which, for them, is a dark moment in their life. They trust us with their most vulnerable moments.
Deliver Your Message of Solace with the Fourth H: Humility
Our response first relies on finding out which of the above the person seeking comfort needs from us. In our intuitive way, we often know what that might be. But sometimes, we don’t. It’s okay to ask. Especially if we are not very familiar with that person.
- What do you need from me?
- How can I help?
- May I give you a hug?
- Is there anything I can do for you?
All simple questions that allow that person to clarify what they are looking for from you.
Next, give the appropriate time and effort to their appeal. If help is requested, find out the details and follow through with any promises you make. If they want to talk, be sure to listen with full attention. If a hug is what they are asking for, make it genuine. Let them decide how long to hold the hug.
Using humility in our responses means that we set aside any ego and self-interests to give our full attention to that person.
Being humble also means that when we have given of ourselves, we need to replenish our energy. Take time for ourselves to allow our over-stimulated nervous systems time to recuperate.
Our empathy makes us well-suited to provide comfort to others. Bring about the best results by adding the H of humility to your efforts to help.
Copyright 2023, Monica Nelson